ubikuberalles (ubikuberalles) wrote,

A little story.

Punkoffgirl ask for a bedtime story in Facebook. I obliged her with the following tale:

Once upon a time, a young woman - Let's call her Jaime - couldn't get to sleep. She went to the internet and asked for help. A few minutes later the sleep fairy showed up and gave her some sleeping pills. "Take only one!" the fairy said "or you'll regret it!" So Jaime took one pill and went to bed. Ten minutes later she was still tossing and turning and she decided to take the second pill, despite the fairy's warning. Twenty years later she woke up.

When Jaime woke, she felt the sharp pounding from the beak of a six inch tall penguin wearing a red bow tie. It was Mr. Flibble and he quickly explained to her that when she wouldn't wake up, doctors sent her to a secret government lab located deep underground the desert in New Mexico.

It took twenty years but they finally discovered how to wake her...penguin urine.

"Ugh!" Jaime shouted, "The doctors made me drink penguin urine?"...

"No" Mr. Flibble answered. "It was mixed with some Aloe Vera and was applied to your skin."


The last 20 years have not been good to Mother Earth. Jaime discovered that Global Warming was much worse than the scientists predicted: the whole world is now one gigantic desert and humanity's survivors now all live underground, eating hydroponically grown fruits and vegetables, breathing recycled air and drinking filtered water.

Life in the future was miserable and Jaime longed for the good ol' 2000s.

"If only there were a time machine that would take me back!" she sighed....

"Well, actually," Mr. Flibble hinted.

Jaime lay in the center of the massive time machine, strapped to a rather uncomfortable metal bench, wondering if she made a mistake agreeing to this experiment.

"Don't worry" Mr. Flibble intoned, "You'll be fine and back to the year 2007 in no time." Mr. Flibble grinned at his little (very little) joke.

"2009!" Jaime exclaimed, rolling her eyes....

"Right. Right! I knew that!" Mr. Flibble turned away, typing on a keyboard out of Jaime's view.

As the massive machine started rotating, a question formed in Jaime's mind. "Mr. Flibble, how did you get involved in this time travel thing? I thought you were just a SCUBA instructor. And how long have you been doing this time travel thing?"

"I've been researching time travel for over 50 years." Mr. Flibble raised his left flipper over the large red "Engage" button.

"What?" Jaime exclaimed. "Your Facebook profile says you were born in 1981! That means you are only 48 years old!"

"I'm a lot older then that!"

Mr. Flibble punched the "Engage" button and the machine spun faster and faster. Meanwhile, Jaime was getting dizzy from the constant spinning and was about to pass out. Before she did, however, she heard Mr. Flibble shout "Don't forget to give that microchip to the 2009 version of me!"

Jaime strained her eyes to look at the microchip attached to a silver necklace around her neck. "I won't!" she groaned, struggling to remain conscious.

The spinning increased even more and Jaime started having strange thoughts about witches and lions and tigers and bears. Oh my. She glanced at Mr. Flibble spinning around her and she could swear he started looking like a scarecrow....

And then she blacked out.

The annoying repetitive beeping of the alarm clock slowly awoke Jaime from her sleep. As she stretched her arms, she remembered what had just happened. She put her hands to her neck but found no necklace with a microchip attached. She was wearing the same nightgown she wore the previous night and not the high tech smock (made out of natural, green friendly fibers) Mr. Flibble gave her. There was no sleep fairy. She didn't sleep for 20 years. She wasn't sent back by a time machine. Mr. Flibble wasn't a scientist but a plush toy penguin. It was all a dream. It was all confusing but it only elicited a smirk from Jaime's lips.

Nevertheless, Jaime decided to heed the global warming message of her dream and decided to ride her bicycle to work that day.

As Jaime rode off on her 18 speed bicycle, a mysterious figure sat in a small sports car across the street; watching her. A small microchip attached to a silver necklace lay inside the figure's clutched right flipper....


The above is Copyrighted 2009 by Ubikuberalles (just covering my base here.). :)

I'm thinking the above will teach POG a lesson about making requests on Facebook. :D

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